The other week I was in a charity shop and found myself drawn to the verbal exchanges occurring at the counter. The salesperson was clearly getting a bit pissed off with the customer, though was doing her best not to show it. After a few seconds of earwigging, I realized that the customer was returning 4 or 5 items of clothing that she'd previously bought. The grand total of these items amounted to less than £6. The salesperson was clearly a little flabberghasted by this amoral pedant, as was I. Who would ever entertain the idea of returning things to a charity shop and demanding a refund?...
Charity worker to malnourished african child: "Yes, um, unfortunately we're no longer gonna be able to build that well for your small village anymore, as Little Miss Cuntbitch returned the hats and scarfs and demanded a refund. So soz about that."
I have to admit, however, to working on my 'far-away/pensive/concentrated/determined' face of late for the purposes of getting to one end of Northumberland street to the other without being accosted by one of an increasing number of chuggers. Every fucking day on my way to work they ask me. How many tweed jacket-wearing young men do they think there are in Newcastle that they always try and stop me?! I hope to god they perpetually ask that stupid refund woman as well. She deserves the harrassment and guilt-tripping more than me.
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I never get stopped by chuggers. One of my dearest friends is a part-time chugger in London, and this always surprises him, to think that there could be one who slips through the net. It gives me the sneaky suspicion they get a handbook or something when they first start the job.
The people who I usually end up getting cornered by are local hairdressers promoting themselves by offering £XXX of free extra beauty treatments, but to get them you have to pay for an £80 haircut, and you have to bring a friend along, or something similar. It makes me really paranoid and self-conscious at the state of my hair...how many times can one person be approached by local hairdressers? How bad does my hair really look?
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