Old

I've been feeling a little older of late. A couple of weeks' back I noticed grey hairs in the mirror for the first time and lines that don't disappear when I stop smiling. And although the younger generation all look identical, there's a part of me that wishes I could get away with skinny jeans and stupid hair (though I'd draw the line at constantly acting like a twat). I've never really been a fervent follower of fashion, but I always felt as though I dressed reasonably well, but now: less so. Perhaps it's simply a matter of updating my wardrobe, but how to do it? At what point does a man have to stop buying clothes at Topman or H&M and invest in items from the Blue Harbour clothing range at M&S instead?

I'm toying with maintaining a much neater hairstyle too, due to noticeable recession. Having a large flicked up fringe serves only to highlight this. The cruel march of time will not, however, convince me to fork out ridiculous amounts of money on anti-ageing cosmetics that some men (I'm told it's more than 100) actually buy. I might be old, but I'm not stupid.

And I regard a lot of today's bands/singers as bland, repetitive, talentless idiots. Is this a) because it's an actual fact, or b) because I've slipped into codger-dom? Plus, as a younger man, I always felt a certain degree of cool when I openly admitted to liking folk and jazz. Now though, this brings uninterested shrugs that translate as: "well I'd expect nothing less of someone your age." I find myself increasingly reliant on my younger, cooler friends to introduce me to good music. This isn't how it's supposed to be, though I am ultimately grateful.

Despite this physical ageing, I still think that I'm about 25. The downside of this being that I only tend to check out potential romantic interests who are in their early 20's, before the realization dawns that they would clearly be way too young for me (because obviously i would have no qualms about approaching them otherwise...)

I'm not so past it though, that I don't know the reason behind my current malaise. Oh yes, I'm still down with the kids, and the kids know that the fashionable thing to do is to just blame everything on Gordon Brown. The cunt. I bet I wouldn't get old under a Conservative government...